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Submitted: June 26, 2012
Image Size: 765 KB
Resolution: 542×800

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Ignite Meby =ChisSweetArt

Digital Art / Photomanipulation / Emotional

It started long before me
I never saw it coming
The distance, the promise
A state of isolation

And in my darkest nightmare
Things that I can't remember
The answer, is drowning, this pain will last forever

My father, his duty
His orders, my brother
The promise, the breaking
Rejection, deception
Reflection, conception
The missing, the torture
The madness, the sadness
Can this be, or is it

The shadow cast before me
A walk inside your circle
Protect me, correct me
You got your orders, soldier

Inside my head is humming
Sometimes I hear them coming
The power, believing
The hate I hate believing

Where is this, it can't be
Who are you, I know you
You wouldn't, or would you
Don't fight me, ignite me
My trigger, your finger
Your darkness, I know it
Come forward, I've seen it
I mean it

※
Your power, is over
I've come to change the order
My training, is perfect
I'm back, again
Your promise, is broken
I drank your sacred water
My mission, is holy
I'm back

My father, his duty
His orders, my brother
The promise, the breaking
Rejection, deception
Reflection, conception
The missing, the torture
The madness, the sadness
Can this be

※ repeat

※※
The hate I hate believing
The hate I hate believing
I never saw it coming
I never saw it coming

※※ repeat

You have your orders, soldier

_{Model:
Elandria: [link]
Background:
Elandria [link] & AshenSorrow [link]
Fire: captianarrg [link]
Texture:
My own & hibbary [link]

The rest painted and edited by me.

You cannot use without permission.

Thank you for any fav's}

Critique by ~JDRay Jun 28, 2012, 9:12:02 AM

I'm not sure whether I should critique the graphic or the text, so I'll aim at both.

As an overall piece, I think the color balance is beautiful. The framing of the brightly colored woman in the blue-grey of the wall works perfectly. The headpiece, on the other hand, is distracting to the fluidity of the rest of the piece. It seems to have been added as an afterthought, and doesn't seem to work with the rest.

The text (poem/lyric) is confusing. Coupled with the graphic, it seems to start as someone trapped in a situation she seems entirely unprepared for, possibly waiting for the return of a lover, father, brother who is away at war. Or maybe she's been sent somewhere away from home because of her lover/father/brother's situation. But then the story seems to become about a soldier who is lamenting his situation. The point of reference changes within the scope of one stanza. It needs work.

Keep at it. You've got talent.

What do you think?

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